• Emily Misura

Two men - both equally rude.


One called me baby, asking how I was doing. I told him I'd be better off if he wasn't so rude and he just shrugged.


The second was wearing a county badge (really???? I should have reported his dumb ass). As I'm passing by, he ask me how I'm doing. I don't answer and don't make eye contact. He asks me again. This time, I responded: "You shouldn't do that."


He became incredulous. Indignant. 

"DO WHAT, TALK?" 


I go, "Be creepy and try to talk to women multiple times when they are clearly trying to avoid a conversation."


He then called me a bitch under his breath. Hopefully that will prevent future cat calling now that he marked me as a solid pass.

  • Emily Misura

Yes, you read that correctly.


Today, while ending my casual stroll around the lake, the wang alarms sounded.


DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG DONG DING DONG-


you get the hint. Turns out a homeless guy felt like it'd be a good idea to whip it out and pee into a water bottle. I tried to alert a lady with kids that some dude had dropped pant(s?) and that she should shield her children's eyes but alas, she looked at me like I had dropped pant(s?)


And there you have it.


#TheCityBeautiful

  • Emily Misura

So today, I was pretty stoked that I found a shiny Kabuto while on my walk during lunch. I decided to walk around downtown rather than Lake Eola today and it was worth it!


...until I passed by California Tortilla when some massively lame guy actually left his position at his job there to follow me down the street, all while shouting after me. Wearing his California Tortilla shirt and hat. Did I mention he was shouting at me and following me? "HEY SEXY WHAT'S GOOD WHERE U GOIN"


How is that ever supposed to be non-threatening? How is that "hot" in any way, shape or form? 


Give me a shiny Kabuto. Then you can shout at me. Otherwise, go fuck yourself.


The tribe has spoken. You're a faggot.

© 2020 by Emily Misura