• Emily Misura

Judge: why are you requesting this name change?

me: because technically it's part of my EMaculate conception. Get it? Because my name is EMily, but Misura also starts with M, which makes my initials also EM. And my mom's name is Mary like the virgin mother. 

Judge: This request is denied. You're a faggot.

me: Can I just change it to Irma Ferghet then?

Judge: get the fuck out of my courtroom.

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  • Emily Misura

Walking the lake, nearing the end of it, I see a 20-something year old AA guy in a bright yellow hoodie. He is staring right at me, so I keep looking at my phone. As I walk past him, he goes, "Hi sweetie."

I ignore it and keep walking.

Then he adds, "Have a nice day.Be safe."

Now call me a prude, but when a creepy man calls me sweetie then tells me to be safe, I get very uncomfortable. Does that sound like a threat to anyone besides me? Be safe... because if you respond negatively to me, I'll sweeten up your ass in these bushes.

Ugh. Why are men this way.

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