• Emily Misura

Taxi(ng) Tuesday

Since this is my first blog of this flavour, I'll give anyone who cares some background. I figured it would be interesting as both a writer and a feminist to document how I am not, in fact, asking to be sexually harassed at any point during my day, but constantly am. I intend to document these occurrences the day that they happen, with detail regarding the men who harass me. This includes talking about their race, appearance, and general tone. It is not meant to make SJWs freak out, but merely to indicate that men of all types feel the need to partake in such pathetic and threatening behaviour. I know not everyone would engage or react the ways I do, hence why I said it's a documentation of MY experiences. TRIGGER ALERT: You've been warned.


I work in downtown Orlando and often take walks during my lunch break, mostly to Pokemon and get vitamin D. I typically only take a half hour every day unless I can join a raid or need to do something besides reminisce about childhood while remaining a completely nerdy, 27 year old gamer. I had walked around Lake Eola yesterday and was talked to there, but I'll post that more-normal-but-not-completely-appropriate story later. Today, I decided to take my old walk up Church before turning onto Orange. 


Everything was fine until I went to The Heart of the Community marker, which happens to be on the corner of the library. Every local Orlandonian knows that outside of the downtown library hang a lot of weirdos. Some can't help it, and others are just rude ass clowns looking to make people (mostly women) uncomfortable. I often see homeless people there and try to avoid that area altogether since once, in broad daylight, I was followed by two men when coming back from a similar walk. I try to avoid that spot entirely now. Either way, I decided to do a raid at this monument though there were a few men around the bus stop. There are usually men and women at the stop, so I didn't see it as any big deal. Two AA women were walking and taking pictures of the flags. I sat down in the shade to do a raid, and immediately began: 


"HEY MOMMA LET ME HAVE A PIECE OF THAT."

"DID YOU HEAR ME. DAMN YOU THICK. CAN I GET A PIECE OF THAT."


I assumed they were shouting at the two women, who turned around and said something along the lines of, "Can't even take a picture? That's nasty," to the men at the bus stop. Both men were AA, late 20's. One wore baggy jeans and a white shirt, the other wore what looked like a polo and non-ass-revealing jeans. The women promptly left, and I figured I would continue walking since I had finished the raid. I got up to go and sort of hid myself behind the light pole, at which point I heard a loud whistle and an "OK!" I crossed the street.


Upon getting to the other side of the street, a black car stopped at the light. It looked somewhat cheaply sporty, as if the person driving it was trying too hard at everything in life. A young Hispanic male, probably not even old enough to drink, rolled down the window and started shouting random things at me: 


"DAMN WHERE YOU GOING LOOKING SEXY LIKE THAT. I'M TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT. ARE YOU GONNA TURN AROUND OR WHAT. OK."


I stopped walking and turned to the car. There was someone in the passenger side but I couldn't tell if it was a man or woman. (Who am I kidding, it was probably a man.) I shouted back calmly, "Did you need something?" At this point, he must have found it just HYSTERICAL that someone would engage with his absolutely laughable attempt to cat call so he started laughing and rolling up the window. At this point, I flicked him off, to which I heard an audible "oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," as if me being annoyed by this interaction was unjustified. An AA man who was walking towards me then proceeded to join into the ordeal by remarking, "That's what happens when you're a pretty woman." I remarked back, "People are so stupid," and proceeded back to the office. I don't think by chiming in he meant it in a creepy way, and I didn't take it a such. The cheap-looking-"sports"-car-driving loser then turned up his music really loudly, which I assume is his fail safe dick suck move when he blows it by actually talking to someone with a vagina. The windows were rattled, much in the same way I was. 


As part of this new blogging concept, I figured I would include a picture of me on the days that people shout at me like a taxi. Below is the picture. NOT THAT MY OUTFIT JUSTIFIES ANYTHING, but I am wearing black pants, a long sleeve blouse (found on sale at Guess, holla), glasses, no makeup, and black classic Tom's. I also haven't washed my hair in three days, so there's that. 


- The Human Taxi

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© 2020 by Emily Misura